My Reasons Why I Wish Jack Donaghy Was a Real Person

-He can help your company’s profits with the positive synergy of revenue stream dynamics.

-He can teach you to love your mother unconditionally through the powers of Stockholm Syndrome

-Jack knows the only way to truly change the world is a room full of rich people.

-He can set aside how idiotic a plan was and teach you to imagine a world where it worked!

-He could build GE into the greatest company on Earth. And bring Earth into the top three planets in the universe!

– He can reduce your company’s healthcare costs by putting his patented formula in the coffee to keep the women from getting pregnant.

-He could give seminars on how the path to success is through focused, high-level paranoid thinking. Like Hitler…. or Willy Wonka.

-He’s a white male with hair…..The sky is the limit!

-He created the tri-fection oven. Need I say more? Come on Quadrafection…..

-If you’re lucky enough he will invite you to a weekend filled with gazing out windows while holding a glass of scotch.

-(on GE) He could bring “good things to life”. And bad things to Chinese Rivers.

-He’s been a GE man for 30 years….. and a GE woman for one week of corporate espionage on Revlon.

and my #1 reason….

-Need to exactly replicate your office in another location? He knows a guy…..

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